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 I hope this series is enjoyable and useful to you!

Bisous!

Debra Spencer

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  7  Offer Your Services

Don't wait until you're in a relationship    

to establish the rules.    

Clearly indicate the kind of relationship you want   

before it goes too far,   

and set expectations as soon as possible.    

No matter what you want, or how you announce that, to get it, you must offer something in return. 

It's an equal energy exchange. This means offering your services.  

When you want a genuine long-term relationship based on mutual respect and mutual needs, then state this upfront.   

If you're uncertain or unsure of what you want,   

you really shouldn't just waltz in with "Tah-Dah!", announcing that sex, or something similar, is what's on offer. 

For simpler steady companionship, get a pet.  

If all you want is shallow entertainment,

then by all means, make that clear!  

Waltz in, make your announcement,  

and bring lots of money.   

That'll surely get you some takers.   

Unless you can offer something the other person wants or needs,

nobody cares!   

This is neither straightforward nor easy   

because it requires knowing their needs, not yours. To be truly helpful is challenging;   

you have to create a win-win situation.   

Herein lies the challenge: what works to establish relationship is to offer the help you can only in ways they truly need, 

not in ways you think they need,  

and not in ways that are really just furthering your own agenda. 

Everyone has needs  

and everyone has problems.   

We invest in relationships as a way to help us meet these needs 

and solve these problems.   

Put yourself in the other person's shoes and don't make assumptions;    

you should always ask.   

Never attach strings.    

Altruism is attractive, strings and conditions are not.     

While there should always be an equal energy exchange,

love is unconditional,  

and when freely invested,  

it balances out eventually    

in ways not immediately apparent or obvious. 

It's important to know your assistance isn't wasted, 

to know they're using your help to create opportunities for themselves they otherwise wouldn't have had. 

Successful relationships depend on mutual respect, 

as well as on helping each other over time.  

This part of the process requires patience and time, 

however, you'll know,    

because you'll quickly discover if what you have to offer is needed, 

and appreciated,  

and not wasted.    

If not, move on.    

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Thanks for reading.
 
Best Wishes,
Debra Spencer

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Suit Yourself™ International Guide To Love All Content is © Debra Spencer, Suit Yourself International. Technical Library FAQ Index ISSN 2474-820X. All Rights Reserved. Please do not reproduce in part of in whole without express written consent. Thank you.

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